MOVING FORWARD? OR STANDING STILL?

Lately I've felt like we slowed down...a little bit is fine, but I've been feeling like we've slowed down too much. Ack!  I don't want to be like that!  So, right here, right now I'm going over what we've accomplished so far, which includes things that directly link to the adoption as well as things that indirectly link to it.

What we have ACCOMPLISHED:

1. Orientation classes
2. Home Study classes
3. Turned in MOST of our paperwork
4. Profile books - created, ordered and in our hot little hands
5. Finger printing
6. Background checks
7. Prepare & Enrich online marriage assessment
8. Not necessary, but still important (and fun) purchased the crib & mattress - which is in and waiting to be picked up at the store!
9. Organizing/cleaning (still some to go)
10. Porch power washed and stained (looks fab!)
11. Nursery design has been decided (gray, white & yellow with black furniture --- chevron pattern is the main look).  I will be ordering the fabric for our homemade by grandma (my mom) bedding THIS week before my coupon expires! Yay!

What we need TO DO:

1. Minimal paperwork - 3 pages that need to be done as a couple, 4 pages that are for Rob to complete, 1 page that needs to be signed & notarized (which we'll have our sister-in-law notarize)
2. Physicals for both of us
3. Profile video
4. Home study

This weekend we've done a little more organizing/cleaning and I finished up any paperwork that I was able to do on my own.

As I mentioned above, we ordered our crib & mattress a couple weeks ago and I received notice that it is in and ready to be picked up! We will be doing that this week.  We'll also be setting up appointments for physicals (which I'm dreading).

(sigh) Ok, I guess we're not doing soooo bad after all.....

S.L.O.W.....

Well it's been a couple weeks since my last post.  Yes, it's been quiet here on the blog, but not at home.  I've been working on our profile book using Shutterfly, and I think I'm done with it...and I think I'm pretty pleased with the final result!  I've done a little cleaning/organizing too...but have much more to do still.  And, last Saturday I went to the town-wide sale/auction at a the next town over with my brother, niece, and dad where I purchased a cute dresser that I plan to use as a changing table!  So, we can officially say that we've bought our first piece of furniture for the nursery!

Here is the dresser/changing table.  We are buying a black crib, so this dresser will be painted black to match (my dad offered to paint it).  We have the 2 missing drawer knobs, but I think I'm going to replace all of them with glass knobs.

And here is Shelby, my auction buddy.  We had fun that day!!

I've also looked at the rest of the paperwork we need to fill out. A couple times, in fact. And I've not started filling it out - yet.  But I will.  The only reason I haven't done anything with this next round of paperwork yet is because I don't want to get ahead of myself by having too much turned in and a house that is not ready for inspection. Ha ha!  Our future nursery is still our junk room.  I'd post a picture, but I don't want anyone turning us in to the producers of the show "Hoarders"!  LOL!  Honestly, that room has been more of a storage space for us than a guest room.  We've lived in this house for 7.5 years and we've only had someone stay in that room twice. TWICE in 7.5 years!!  So, that room needs to be cleaned out...and since we don't have much storage space in this house, I have a feeling that not only is it going to be cleaned out, but a lot will need to be thrown out.  All that stuff I've been keeping for "this" or "that" or "someday"...oh, never mind....  My someday is coming...but the junk is no longer needed.  My someday has a purpose, which is a FAMILY.  My someday is that room is FINALLY going to be a nursery!!!

Don't get me wrong, that's not the only thing that needs to be done around this house.  The entire house could stand a good, deep cleaning.  It really could.  And there are more things in other rooms of this house that could stand to be thrown away - not just in the "junk" room.  I would post my "to do" list, but I don't want to depress you.  I'm only kidding. Kind of.  I'm actually really looking forward to the cleaning/organizing...because it means we're moving forward!

That's it for this time!!
~K

Classes ~ DONE!

Today was day 2 of the Home Study class.....which also marks the end of our classes!  The morning portion of the class was long, difficult and...slightly boring.  We each shared about our journey towards adoption, whether that journey took us through infertility, just a desire to adopt, or maybe another path.  There were some sad stories...but it was interesting to hear how others in our group had reached this point.

We all went to lunch together at Avanti's, which is close by and easy to get in and out of in a timely manner.  Lunch was fun and gave us another chance to get to know everyone.  I felt horrible when we got back to class to find out that the reason one of the couples didn't join us is because they didn't know where Avanti's was and they got separated from the group when we hit a red light!!

After we got back from lunch, we went into more interesting topics.  The birth mom counselor joined us to share information from that perspective and to answer any questions that we had.  After that, we discussed a couple other things and then went on to what I considered the most interesting topic of the day - creating our portfolios (which will be in the form of a book and a video).  We watched 2 videos that were made by adoptive couples and looked through numerous profile books to get ideas.

Since this was our last class, it was our last time with the group of couples that we've been through this journey (to this point) with.  At the end of class, we exchanged contact information with everyone.  And, we're planning to connect via Facebook.  Hopefully that will work out because I'd love to touch base and see how everyone is doing along the way!

Our folder from today's class is thick (the thickest one we've received so far!) and we've got more paperwork to sort through.  We should soon receive more information from our case worker regarding what else needs to be done (and how to go about that), I do know that we'll need to do fingerprinting, physicals, and get our house in shape and ready for the actual home study. I'm hoping that we can get moving on this quickly, as I'd like to get as much done before June as we can since summer is very busy for both us.

I'll keep updating as often as I can, so check back frequently!

~Kendra

What we're thinking bout now...

Rob and I have been working on the "homework" that we received during our first of two home study classes. We each worked on our stacks separately because we each got copies of the same documents to fill out that required thought and lots of writing! I don't know about Rob, but for me, these documents have really made me think! Some of the questions are HARD...such as "What do you believe to be your strengths?", "What do you believe to be your weaknesses?", "Describe your perception of God and how the perception relates to your lifestyle.", "Describe your feelings about organized religion." - and the list goes on, and on!

These are just a few examples...some of it I sit there and had to really think how to put it on paper. But, for the most part, it's really not that bad.

 Tomorrow will be our second home study class. We will get even more paperwork from that class, along with the list of things that we need to do to prepare for the actual home study.

 Every step we take makes it feel more real! And, as Rob likes to say in that joking tone of his, "We're really doing this!" ;)

Paperwork

Today we started working on some of the paperwork that we were given during our most recent class.

It's overwhelming...although I fully realize that this bit of paperwork is nothing compared to what we will be getting during the home study process.  I guess it feels overwhelming because, well...it just makes things even more real.

Yeah, I know, every little step forward is going to be another wake-up call that this is really happening.  Some day I'll be used to it...nah, who am I kidding?!  I'll never be used to it!!

But by the time we wade through the sea of paperwork, we'll be fully aware of our beliefs, wishes, and desires involving parenthood, as well as our financial situation, home situation, marriage situation...the list goes on, and on.  All good...evaluating life...all good...moving forward...all good. :)


Next class ~ Thursday, February 2nd.

Orientation Class | Family Dynamics of Open Adoption

Tonight was our first "Orientation" Class...which was supposed to be LAST Thursday, but instead Mother Nature interrupted those plans by bringing us the first snow storm of the winter season (gotta love Midwestern winters!).

The class size was larger than I expected, if I remember correctly there were 8 other couples besides us.  Due to last week's class being cancelled, in this week's class we covered topics that are normally covered in week 2 because the guest speakers were already booked for this week.  So, tonight we met an adoptive family that consisted of dad, mom, their 9 yr. old biological son, and their 1 yr. old adopted son...plus the birth mom, who is currently a high school senior.  We found it to be very interesting and informative!

The birth mom spoke about things such as: what brought her to adoption, how difficult it was, how things are going for her now,  what made her choose this family over the other 2 profiles she viewed, among other things.  The adoptive parents spoke about what brought them to adoption after having a biological child, how the open adoption process has worked (and continues to work) for them, how long their wait was before being matched, and many other things.  Plus we were all given a chance to ask questions of both the adoptive parents and the birth mom.  This took up a majority of the class, then after this family left, the caseworkers explained a little more background on this family, discussed a few other topics and then we had a quick discussion on when our "make up" class will be in place of the class time we missed last week.  We were also given more paperwork that needs to be filled out...I know there will be MUCH more paperwork to come!

Overall, I thought tonight's session was great, and I can't wait for the next one!  The caseworkers will be in contact with each of us for confirm the reschedule date for this....so, for right now, we just have to hang tight for a few days before we have more info!

The checklist

Let the whirlwind begin!  Our first of two orientation classes begins tomorrow night.  How am I feeling?  Nervous. Excited. Happy. Scared.  A lot of feelings are running through my veins!

We have a checklist of things that we need to bring with us tomorrow night. I've just about got them all ready and in a folder:

• Copy of marriage certificate
• First page of most recent US 1040 tax form
• Proof of pet inoculations
• Proof of life insurance
• Photo of the two of us
• Check for payment of orientation classes

We had to scramble to get a photo of the two of us together.  I'm not one for being in FRONT of the camera, since I'm an aspiring photographer, I'd much rather be TAKING the pictures...so the last decent photo of the two of us together was (gasp) 5 years ago?!   So, mom came over during Rob's dinner break to take a couple quick snapshots.  I just uploaded them to walgreens.com (another taboo thing for this photographer), and Rob will be picking them up tomorrow afternoon!  I know you're curious...so, I won't keep you in suspense any longer....here's the dang the photo! Say cheese!!

Where do I begin?

I've decided to start a family blog with high hopes of sharing exciting news in the future...the way off future.

As most of you who will read this know, Rob and I have been married for 8 years (together for 10).  My dream has always been to be a mom.  Plain and simple.  That's all I really cared about...not a fabulous career, not a fancy house, not a glamorous lifestyle.  I just wanted to be a mom!!!

Only a few short months after we got married, we began a journey to start a family.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what a long, difficult, and often times painful road that would lead us down.

After almost a full year of trying, I finally consulted with my doctor.  That brought on a battery of tests, taking my temperature every morning to chart my cycles, fertility drugs, and eventually being referred on to a fertility specialist.  After consulting with the specialist, and getting approval from insurance, we started down the wild scary road of IVF.  Many doctor appointments, medications which included the use of many needles (my fears of needles disappeared after giving myself way too many dang shots!), sonograms, sleepless nights, night sweats, CRAZY hormones...and three, yes THREE, rounds of IVF later - we are still battling the scars of unexplained infertility.

After deciding that I no longer wanted to go through the stress of IVF - we decided it was time to quit....

About a year after our last round of IVF, a dear friend put us in touch with a family that had two adorable little girls who's mother was young and had pretty much abandoned them (leaving them in the care of family) and she had agreed to let us adopt them.  As we geared up for the potential of adopting these beauties, we spent a great deal of time getting to know them and their extended family (minus the mother), things were starting to look up for us - or so we thought.  That happiness did not last long...just as we were about to begin the initial paperwork with the attorney and court system, the mom came back in the picture and announced that she had changed her mind.  Many tears and a couple years later, our hearts still ache with the sadness of our empty house.

As we've sat back and pondered our future without the giggles, rumblings, hugs & kisses of children in our home...many conversations (and sometimes squabbles) later, we've decided to once again venture down the road to adoption.  This time through an agency.  This time with, hopefully, a joyous outcome!

With that being said...we've had 2 meetings already with Catholic Charities in Peoria, IL.  We have a wonderful caseworker and we are set to begin the group Orientation Classes next week for their domestic infant adoption program...I don't think I could be more nervous, or excited!  I just hope and pray that things go our way on this journey "To Fill This House"!!!!

With much love,
Kendra