Thursday, January 5, 2012

Where do I begin?

I've decided to start a family blog with high hopes of sharing exciting news in the future...the way off future.

As most of you who will read this know, Rob and I have been married for 8 years (together for 10).  My dream has always been to be a mom.  Plain and simple.  That's all I really cared about...not a fabulous career, not a fancy house, not a glamorous lifestyle.  I just wanted to be a mom!!!

Only a few short months after we got married, we began a journey to start a family.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what a long, difficult, and often times painful road that would lead us down.

After almost a full year of trying, I finally consulted with my doctor.  That brought on a battery of tests, taking my temperature every morning to chart my cycles, fertility drugs, and eventually being referred on to a fertility specialist.  After consulting with the specialist, and getting approval from insurance, we started down the wild scary road of IVF.  Many doctor appointments, medications which included the use of many needles (my fears of needles disappeared after giving myself way too many dang shots!), sonograms, sleepless nights, night sweats, CRAZY hormones...and three, yes THREE, rounds of IVF later - we are still battling the scars of unexplained infertility.

After deciding that I no longer wanted to go through the stress of IVF - we decided it was time to quit....

About a year after our last round of IVF, a dear friend put us in touch with a family that had two adorable little girls who's mother was young and had pretty much abandoned them (leaving them in the care of family) and she had agreed to let us adopt them.  As we geared up for the potential of adopting these beauties, we spent a great deal of time getting to know them and their extended family (minus the mother), things were starting to look up for us - or so we thought.  That happiness did not last long...just as we were about to begin the initial paperwork with the attorney and court system, the mom came back in the picture and announced that she had changed her mind.  Many tears and a couple years later, our hearts still ache with the sadness of our empty house.

As we've sat back and pondered our future without the giggles, rumblings, hugs & kisses of children in our home...many conversations (and sometimes squabbles) later, we've decided to once again venture down the road to adoption.  This time through an agency.  This time with, hopefully, a joyous outcome!

With that being said...we've had 2 meetings already with Catholic Charities in Peoria, IL.  We have a wonderful caseworker and we are set to begin the group Orientation Classes next week for their domestic infant adoption program...I don't think I could be more nervous, or excited!  I just hope and pray that things go our way on this journey "To Fill This House"!!!!

With much love,
Kendra

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